Our first school on emotions, our first mirror, are our parents.
We can try and deny them, we can try and destroy the perception we created about them. We can attack them, insult them, ignore them…but we will not hurt them. We will only hurt ourselves.
Roots are important, essential, we need them to grow. However, our parents are not our roots. Otherwise, we would always depend on them during our life and we would never be self-sufficient.
No. They are not our roots, but they are the key we need in order to find our roots.
We are not aware of it but they present us with those emotions we should accept and welcome in order for us to grow: they make us feel…
It is one of the most difficult emotions to handle because IT CONTAINS AN ENORMOUS AMOUNT OF ENERGY. As we couldn’t attend any “School of Emotions”, we have always tended to suffocate all negative emotions instead of embracing them. By doing so, when one of our children yells at us in anger, we answer by shouting even louder!
We believe that anger is, inevitably, followed by assault (verbal or physical), but there is another way of experiencing anger…let it all out. Never suffocate it, but let it pour out with all of its strength without, however, addressing it against anyone or anything.
SHOUTING IS GOOD, INSULTING IS NOT/RUNNING IS GOOD, BREAKING THINGS IS NOT.
Not because it is morally wrong to act so but because, without realizing it, our “Higher Self” knows that we are connected to the all that is and if we insult or destroy things around us we will destroy something that is inside of us and so, deep within ourselves, we will suffer and we will tend to suffocate anger more and more every day, instead of experiencing it.
Parents have gathered more experience during their life. This seems unreachable or incomparable to a son or daughter.
But, frustration is the other side of humility. There will always be someone else ahead of us on the path to spiritual or material growth. There will always be some situation that we cannot overcome. However, all of this is not a problem but a reminder that we are nothing compared to the “all that is” and, at the same time, when we fully grasp this concept, then we become part of the all that is and our energy is infinite because we start sharing it with all of the energies of creation.
“When I talk to you, it’s like talking to a brick wall!!!”… “You don’t fucking understand!!!”… “When we were your age, we were far more responsible”… “You are just like zombies!!!”.
Incomprehension is one of the main causes of estrangement between people and, especially, between teenagers and their parents. When we exchange views with others, most of the times we don’t listen to what they are telling us and we stick stubbornly to our own opinions because we fear that what others are telling us might be true.Parents find it unacceptable when they cannot understand their son or daughter…it is way easier to think that it is the son or daughter who cannot understand obvious truths. Teenagers can’t stand the fact that they still have a lot to learn on how to manage their emotions and develop empathy…it is much easier to think that their parents and adults in general are losers and have forgotten that things in life are all either black or white and shades of grey are just pure fantasy.
The first Level in Thaatt acts on the relationship with our parents: till that relationship is not stable, it is difficult to be at peace with ourselves because it means that there will always be something, deep within ourselves, that will bother us, and if don’t accept it we won’t be able to continue on our path to love and inner peace.
Parents are of course a beautiful thing, even our parents. But if there were an exam for adults, an exam they needed to pass in order to be allowed to have children, honestly, how many would pass that test? And even if some of them were to pass it, would they just barely make it?P. Høeg, “The Elephant keepers’ children.”
Ok, probably our parents never showed up to take that exam. Rather, they didn’t even know that such an exam existed…so what? Does this make any difference? They had children and tried, with the emotional tools they had, to raise them. Sometimes they did a good job, some other times they did not. But, let us remember that parents take on three different roles at the same time:
From them we learned to walk, to talk, to eat and to interact with other people. They provided us with the basic tools we needed in order to survive, but it is up to us to create the tools that we need in order to live.
And we often forget this. They are people and they have their sound and unmistakable limits that nobody, however, taught them how to manage. In fact, we expect the exact opposite from them. Society expects parents to sacrifice themselves beyond all limits for the love they feel for their children without, however, taking into account that since they were never trained to recognize and embrace their own emotions, how can they be expected to even succeed in elcoming those of others?
These “basic emotional misunderstandings” are, in most cases, the greatest source of resentment between parents and children.
This is why even the first “Thank you”, the simplest one, is not so easy to say!